The days, before my nuptial.

            For Indians, marriage is as much a celebration for the couple, it's also an event to bring the extended family together, to mingle, muddle, fight and make promises to observe a more conducive relationship in future. Amongst all this chaos... my parents house, lights up like a christmas tree, every evening, broadcasting the event to all the neighbors. 

              The past few days have been hectic, with all the "stuff" that needs to bought, packaged and used appropriately for a wedding, following certain local/foreign customs. BTW, I really don't understand any of them or the need for all the fanfare. I assume, customs were made available previously, since there were no governing bodies like the judicial system to preside over the wedding and elders & certain order of events were the only witness to the marriage. Their council would be requested, in case of trouble with the marriage or anything related to that matter.

                I am called the "mapplai" in my local dialect, a phrase denoting the groom. So everyone goes "congrats mapplai". If it were any other sane person, I assume they would be extremely ecstatic, but I am more like "Hmm.... thanks. But I am already married to her". Well... I skipped the part of us getting our first marriage, civil marriage a few days earlier.

            Even though it's an arranged marriage, we have been in touch for sometime after the initial introduction by our parents. Our communication was sporadic at first, periodic later with alternate days, then daily and at present, a never ending banter. It seems that we have always been friends and this event culminates our friendship to the next strata. "Mine" changed to "ours", way before the official engagement took place and so, No jitters, no butterflies in the stomach, no second thoughts, but just stage fright. And I hope, even that will dissipate, once I get onto the stage, cause I am doing this for the first time and I am planning on doing it, for the only time(It's not if, but when she is reading this, for her: "Do you understand that?"). So this marriage, at least in our perspective, is for the family, to observe customs and we get to have a free ride in the ordered chaos, called the "The Indian Wedding".

             Today is the big day, when I take my wife, to be my lawfully wedded wife again. But this time, in front of all my relatives, inline with local customs.

On a funny note....

Source: Grabbed this online. I do not hold copyright of this image.

TL;DR - I am getting married on September 8th, 2013.

-Alphonse

   

Attitude towards women, needs to change.

If you have not been living under a rock, you would have heard about the recent events; that highlight men's ignorance, sordid attitude and materialistic mentality towards women. On the aftermath, I keep hearing about the influence of alcohol, westernization, sleazy dress & erotic movie scenes, to be the root cause that contaminate young men's mind and digress them towards this behavior. Is it really? It's easy to force the blame on others, rather than to introspect the real reason, cause then it hits too close to home.

Did society's attitude towards women ever cross their mind?  Forget society. How does a boy grow up to be this indiscriminate person, to commit this atrocity, not just towards a women, but to a person, a fellow human? Should we not think about their family/parents? Shouldn't they also be held responsible for this? Aren't they also part of his life, his childhood, that carved him for this behavior, to exhibit bad judgement and disregard basic human decency.

Irrespective of the scenes seen in movies and posters, it's the incidents at home that leave a lasting impression on a child's thought and drives his future behavior. It happens every time, the husbands hit's his wife in front of his kids; mother treating daughters like a maid, meanwhile treating sons like a prince. Looking down upon them, as a weaker sex needs to change.

This made sense in archaic days, since only men thrived as providers. Parents invested in their sons, so that they would take care of them in their old age. Well at least, that was the thought, but I don't think it ever comes to fruition for all. Now, women also are earning the bread for their family, because they get a chance to be educated and thrive in this society. So shouldn't we see a change in our attitude at home first, before we expect the same from our society.

Leering at women is not a sin, just don't make it so obvious, else you just come out as a creep. Lust is natural, but whom we are is defined by our actions, not just by our thoughts and that depends on our upbringing. Religion plays a role, since we are influenced by them and we are forced into that from birth. But every thought in religion, that condemns violence is based on fear(my understanding) and fear acts only has a temporary hurdle, until you face it. Looking at the women; not only as objects of beauty or a materialistic achievement but also as a person, would make a huge difference in our attitude towards them. A small step towards an end of this type of violence.

My .2 cents.

First of April, a fool's day.

 My brain is buzzing with activity and I am working hard on solving a critical bug. Well... that bug was not doing well and so was I; trying hard to decode the issue. It was about half past three in the evening and work was taking a toll on my concentration. As I was mucking through the code, my mobile goes off, indicating an incoming call. I looked it up and it was a local number. Thought it might be telemarketers or maybe from my apartment office. Maybe my apartment is on fire.. or some thing worse!! So I took the call and a lady answers on the other end.

lady: Am I talking to Alphonse.
Me: Yeah.
lady: Did you put up an advert on Craigslist, regarding fresh meat.
Note: I heard it as fresh meat, but I think the lady said free meat. you will get the difference by the end of this post.
Me: NO!
lady: I think... somebody posted an advert with your name and number on Craigslist, regarding fresh meat.
Me: Hmmmm.... Thanks for letting me know, I guess.

and I disconnect the call. Before I let go off my phone, another call comes in and again a local number. Now I realize, that something is wrong and switch off my phone to avoid getting calls.

Now the thoughts, that were going through my mind were; somebody hacked my account, or my laptop and posted this advert, just for fun or something else crazy is happening. How the hell, did they know my name and mobile number?  First thing that I wanted to do,  search for personal advert's in Craigslist, since "fresh meat" triggered a prison lingo and "men want men, men want women" sections were the one's that were highlighted in my thoughts. Well I was going for the worst thoughts... of mine and expecting them to be false.

But I was in office and I really did not want to use my office network to access Craigslist personal section; to search for this advert. Now I can't use my smart phone also, cos I had switch it off, to avoid getting the numerous calls.

So I decided to head home to use my home network to do my detecting stuff. I drive back home, deep in contemplation about, what could have happened. Then it dawns on me, that somebody could be playing a prank on me, since this was 1st of April. Anyways... I had to find the advert and get it removed, just to avoid getting the calls at least. So after I reach home, I search the online personal section for my name and number, cos the lady had mentioned that. I come across a lot of advert which I wish I had not seen, but truth requires sacrifice and so I trudge along and no hits. I tried to search based on timestamp and again no hits. I tried few more times and then decided to ping my friends about this. And voila, one of my friend replies back with the advert link and mocked me, that "I must be dumbest person", cos he was able to find it in 30 seconds.

The advert was in the sales section, which I decided to avoid, based on the "fresh meat" and its -ve connotation. This is an example of tunnel vision or thinking inside the box.

Here it goes... Didn't take a snapshot, but trying to recollect word for word.

--SNIP--
Hi,
    I have over 75lbs of lamb meat left over from a party. I am ready to give it for free.
    Call up this number XXX-XXX-XXXX and ask for YYY. I will not respond
   back to emails.

-YYY
--SNIP--

Now you can see, how I could have mistaken free & fresh meat. So boom, I log a case with Craigslist and mark this advert as prohibited. Within an hour, the advert vanishes of the site. I switch on my mobile and see 30 missed calls, more than 30 texts and voice mails. Phew... I was just happy, that the phone just stopped ringing and nuked all of 'em.

Now, I was thinking... who the hell, did I piss off so much; for them to play a prank on me like this.
And I did find out the next day. When you have friends like these, why would you need enemies!!

It was a memorable, fools days for me; with me being the butt of the joke. But hey, it made me test Craigslist's support service and response time. :D

The End.

What's your identity?

What is your identity? I am not talking about your online identity? It's more physical. For some I know, online identity seems to be the only thread by which they hang on to their clout. Let's not discuss about that.

Is it related to your work? or is it related to your hobby? or the things that you do, to piss others off. Many work to earn a living, some work in their field of interest, others to escape their life at home and which one are you? Does the line blur between work and daily life? Is it really worth it, if we put in that extra hours to get that one promotion? Does it just stop there or is it an ordeal to continue for the rest of our career?  These are all the troubles that afflict today's work force.

Have you ever wondered, as to what you are supposed to be doing in life? Apart from waking up in the (not specifically) morning and doing your daily chores like a zombie, hell bent on achieving what? making money for the Corporations?  I am not into the spiritual bullshit of predestined purpose in life. I am more into, what are you doing with your life? does it have a value? other than the few useful organs that we seem to carry, if we had not destroyed that already with our past times. Saving humanity seems to be a huge cliche.

Do we really need super powers to make a difference. All the power, that one needs is motivation, motivation to make a difference. Difference not in someone's life... but in yours. But the problem is... humans are so greedy... so anything that we do to please ourselves always tends to crave for more and that ain't good in the long run or is it?

 So what should we be really doing? Make a difference to your friends and relatives, your enemies because they are the closest to you. Quality and Quantity, both count. And I think that would speak volumes about your legacy, cause it would be the only abstract entity standing... if it had any gall of its own, when your mortal body perishes.

So make a difference, or better yet; be the difference in this monochromatic society and that I think, would be your identity.

I make mine, by writing this and motivating others. :D
Just a rant based on daily news, survived only by my thoughts.